on our independence day last year, i wrote this and is still applicable this year.
ON August 14th
Pakistani Musicians: [The people who “love” Pakistan the most] Hide your jeans and T Shirts.. n if a female singer – all your western dresses… adorn a White Shalwar Kameez and sing your Love for Pakistan and claim to be a Proud Pakistani.
Way of Celebration: Hold some concerts or TV Shows…. sing one or two patriotic songs…wave some flags, wear a patriotic badge
Pakistanis: [Wearing a patriotic badge…waving the national flag] Instead of working for the country, take a holiday on 14th August and claim your patriotism…I love Pakistan I’m Proud to be Pakistani I will do this for my country.. i will do that for my country…blah blah blah
Way of Celebration: Wave the flags on your bikes, cars, shops and houses. Get rid of the silencers of your motor bikes – head towards sea view. Break all hell loose by destroying everything that comes in your way.. gas stations..sign boards, footpaths, shops in the meanwhile creating traffic jams and creating unbearable noise pollution that make the life of fellow Pakistanis living along Khataban e Ittehad and Sea View miserable.
Pakistani Government: Celebrating 60 years of Independence, We have done this for our country.. that for our country.. itnee Tarraqi huee hai.. itna kaam hua hai.. blah blah..
Way of Celebration :Appear on some TV Show.. reiterate your (fake) love for Pakistan and (non) hardwork you have done. Listen to and shake hands with the respectable female Pakistani singers…
Rest of the Year :
Pakistani Musicians: Pakistan ? What Pakistan… Shalwar Kameez..??? Ewww backwards.. adorn your jeans and shirts, do your utmost to look like western singers or Movie Stars and sing songs of love for your beloved. Make vulgar videos copying western singers and Indians. Throw down in the gutter all social values of being a Muslim and a Pakistani. Go out of Pakistan at every possible opportunity… try to get Indian or American/British/Canadian Nationality so you dont have to live in this country…
Pakistanis: Try and make as much money as possible, by hook or by crook. Defraud, cheat and lie and steal. Steal electricity, take bribes, throw kachra everywhere, spit out paan, break traffic laws. Never get to your office on time.. leave office early, do chutti when ever you want. Celebrate everything and everyday by asking for a public holiday. [If people are given the choice.. they would work once a month- rest of the days should be a public holidy – great service to the nation.!!] If you want to protest.. go set some restaurant on fire or some other shop on fire.
Government of Pakistan: Go back to looting the country.
In the end.. everybody is the same. All our claims are nothing but a lipservice. because lip service is easy, all you need to do is move your tongue. Words like hard Work, punctuality, dedication, sincerity and loyalty do not belong in our dictionary of patriotism.